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Unfortunately, a lot of us encountered an evil coworker on our jobs. In situations like these, you don’t even know how to approach that specific person. You feel like everything you do, that person is going to use to turn it against you.
People that found themselves in situations like that often describe it as feeling trapped. People feel distressed and anxious, can’t get a good night’s sleep and it can go that far as affecting their health.
Venomous people can do real harm with just a little bit of effort. They thrive on watching you suffer, going through bad times and feeling bad in general.
Evil, toxic or just a big misunderstanding?
They seem to have compassion for everyone but you, which is a part of their game. Make everyone else think that they are a good person, so you seem like a crazy person saying the opposite. If all of this sounds too familiar, we have some tips to help you handle the situation.
1. Evaluate the situation
We’re all people, and people make mistakes. We’ve all been in a situation where we feel like someone doesn’t like us and is plotting against us, where it couldn’t be further from the truth. Take a moment and analyze the situation.
Is it possible that you are just paranoid? Maybe the circumstances just aligned in a way that it seems like your coworker is after you. Maybe they actually don’t give a damn about you. Heck, they might even like you and you are just misinterpreting the whole situation. Try to think about as objectively as you can. If you are still 100% sure that’s not the case, then you’re probably right.
2. Try talking to them
Maybe you’ve done them wrong, and you’re not even aware of it. They’re people just like you, and they can be reasonable. You can just try calmly talking to them and trying to sort things out. Maybe they don’t want this beef either, but they were bitter for some reason.
You can find out only by trying to have an honest heart-to-heart talk. If they make it seem like there’s no beef and it’s all in your head (and you are 100% sure that’s not true), give it up. They don’t want to make amends. What they do want is to make you seem crazy. In that case, just leave them be and do your thing.
3. Have a support system
Surround yourself with people that love, support and understand you. Having someone that’s got your back in difficult situations means a world. Even if they can’t do anything but listen to you as you vent about it, it still makes a great difference. It means that you are not alone, and no problem seems that bad when you have something to rely on. People like that keep you sane.
It can be a colleague that you trust, who sees what’s happening and isn’t okay with it. It can be your significant other, your best friend, your child, parent, or it can be all of them together. It’s just important that you have someone who will listen to you, give you cold-headed advice (if possible) and make you feel like it isn’t all that bad. Maybe your evil coworker doesn’t have anyone like that, and that’s why they’re bitter and trying to make someone else miserable, they just can’t cope with their own misery.
4. Be careful about your confidants
Talking about a support system- you should be careful if you choose to confide in one of your coworkers. Do it only if that person is 101% reliable. If you misjudge them, it can backfire so bad, you won’t even know what happened. They could be playing a good friend role, while actually prove themselves to be backstabbing people.
Only confide in those that have shown to be loyal to you beforehand. Even when doing so-still be careful about how much you share. When you really want to unwind and complain about your evil coworker, it may be best to do it with someone neutral on the subject, that doesn’t work with you.
5. Don’t give them the satisfaction
Your evil coworker wants to see you at your lowest, and that’s what you can’t show them. Even if they affect you, don’t show it. When they are the worst to you, just to make you blow your fuse, stay calm and collected. Kill them with kindness.
Going off on them will only show them that they have power over you and that you can’t control yourself. Don’t give them that satisfaction. Whenever you feel like being close to the edge, remove yourself from the situation if possible. “Take a deep breath” sounds so cliché, but it really works wonders. With your breathing, you can influence your heart rate. Go and deal with something else until you cooled down.
Keep your chin up and don’t let them get you. Going into a verbal conflict with them would be the worst possible solution, and that would make you a part of the problem as well. Don’t let them reel you in their little games.
6. Take notes, prepare for the worst
Whenever your evil coworker does something to sabotage you, write it down. Whatever the foul attempt might be, have it in writing. If possible, record it even. With your phone, make an audio or video even.
This means that if it gets ugly and you have to take it your superior, you will have concrete examples, the time when it happened, and if you recorded some of it, you would have a solid proof as well. It may seem a little extreme, but if the whole thing gets messy, you’ll be glad that you did it.
Taking things to your boss means that you have to be prepared, and it’s not enough just to say “He/She is constantly mean to me.” Make sure when you come to your superiors you have concrete facts, that will show that you are serious about it and it will make you more reliable. Your evil coworker definitely won’t expect that, and you will surely catch them off guard.
7. Consider changing your job
If everything else fails, you tried talking to your superior, and no one believes you, think about changing your job.
Sit down and write pros and cons.
If your evil coworker drives you insane, and no one wants to do anything about it, it may be best to leave the place. It’s not fair, considering that you’re not the one to blame in the whole situation, but sometimes we need to do things that are in our best interest. Not every workplace has a person that feeds on other people’s misery.
It may seem like you’re doing the sacrifice, but in the end, you’re just looking after yourself. Nothing can measure up with having a peace of mind.
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Snake in the grass, the wolf in sheep’s clothing, Regina George – whatever you want to call them, evil coworkers exist. It’s hard to understand why are they the way that they are.
Some have reasons for being like that, and some are just simply mean people. Don’t try to understand them, stay away from them as much as you can. Don’t try to get even, it never ends well, they’re probably much better experts in being mean than you are.